19 February 2011

Roommate (non-Chinese) Fire Drill

The evidence is plain and clear. In fact, it happens so often that we have a place on our counter to indicate it. The dreaded FIRE DRILL. No, this isn't some process imposed upon us by some overlording and highly paranoid apartment manager. This is a process imposed by neccesity, fostered by roommates cooking. The Fire Drill goes something like this:
  1. Roommate decides to cook (stove or over, doesn't matteer).
  2. The food items are selected, prepared and then the cooking begins.
  3. Distraction insues and smoke begins to build. The nature of the distraction doesn't matter, just that it happens.
  4. Once enough smoke has built up, the Living Room smoke detector goes off. The detector is designed to get you out of the smoky building so you don't die. To make this happen more efficiently, the one alarm that can actually detect smoke, the Living Room, convinces all the other alarms (I think they use telepathy for this) to raise the alarm. Within seconds the whole apartment is blarring with the warning of impending doom.
  5. The nearest, and most able roommate (not all are equally capable of this feat) swiftly climbs a near by bar stool and skillfully dismounts and disconnects the smoke detector (it's all in the wrist).
  6. The smoke detector is then placed on the kitchen counter as an indicator that the fire alarm still works.
After months of this, I am still really bad at these fire drills. Maybe I don't try hard enough.

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